Attention Ryan Bailey :

STOP talking about me, it's just getting old now. I'm desperate huh? I must have been, if I was with you. It's like everytime I get happy, I hear you saying something about me, so shut your fucking mouth; I don't go on about you. You are just too much of a coward to admit that you did wrong. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE, IF YOU'RE WHO YOU'RE WITH ,FINE, BECAUSE I'M WITH WHO I WANT TO BE WITH FINALLY. Jesus christ, you're a child, grow up.

and you can tell, it's just aswell

Today was good, I went to Vancouver with Alison and Adam. We got there at 4, on account that Adam slept in a long time, but atleast that gave me a long time to get ready. When we picked him up, he had the most amazing looking sandwich, but I did not get a bite because he didn't offer. Anyway, I didn't buy a hat or scarf or backpack; I bought food for all of us. We got Timmy Ho's and then went for sushi, then got starbucks. It was sooo cold down there, I should have worn a jacket. We went into the Rock Shop, and I wanted to buy a Mod target belt buckle, but I didn't; I don't know why. Oh well. I want to go on a huge shopping spree down there, I LOVE Vancouver, Alison and I are moving there when we graduate. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Adam when he's done band practice, that is, if he actually has one hahahaha. Then on monday I start work! Goodbye weekends! Death.

leave me like they left me here, to wither in denial

I didn't go out. Obviously. I am soooo tired. Ugh, I can't wait for you anymore, so I am probably going to bed soon. I want to look GOOD tomorrow.

the bitterness of one who's left alone, oh ho he is burned

Today I found out Ryan has been telling people, a.k.a his girlfriend, that Adam and I slept together on our first date. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not true at all, faaaar from it. But yes, I always hear things that he's said, and it's so fucking annoying, like seriously, shutup please. Went to mall with Jessika and picked up my cheque, saw some people I miss! I bought two shirts, a jumper, and pants for work, hurrah. Now I'm at home and possibly going out with Alanna to Matt's later, we'll see. I'll probably have to stay the night there which is why I don't want to go because I need to get ready to go to Vancouver tomorrow, and I don't want to be hungover; on the other hand, I don't want to sit on my fat ass all night soooooo...we'll see. I CAN"T stop listening to Smashing Pumpkins; on wednesday it was one month since I saw him; *sigh* oh Billy Corgan.

Edit 10:21 p.m. :

Scratch that, no halloween party tomorrow. Oh welllll. Then I can take my time tomorrow. And it is NOT 10:13, it is 10:21. Stupid thing.

in the streets full of people you know

I got a job! At Panago! Well, Bethany got it for me, THANK YOUUU. It'll be like Boston Pizza all over again. I'm excited to get paid, I start on monday at 4 till ? because at places like that, you're shift can end anytime whether it's busy or not. Tomorrow I pick up my last cheque from Shoppers, so hopefully I'll see some people. I think Jessika and I are going to get candy pizza at Pizza Hut, apparently they really have that? Sweet! I'm in good mood right now. Then I think tomorrow Alanna's boyfriend Brandon MIGHT have halloween party, so I'll go as "china doll" or just geisha girl..aha..the dress looks pretty sweet! Sometimes I might not even wear it as a costume. THANKS MOMMMMMM. Umm..saturday I think Vancouver, with Alison and Adam, hurray! Oh, and by the way, I'll NEVER look at you the same again. Lmfao. Jesus Christ, you're now starting to annoy the hell out of me again, but whatever, atleast you won't be annoying anyone else.

tomorrow's just an excuse away

Bitch. My mom was being one today, and yelled because Brittney and Alena wanted a ride home; seriously, why did you even have me then. So my dad picked me up, and that was fine, and said my mom would be talking to me, which she didn't so good. I told her she could be a witch for halloween because it is "easy to do", and she asked if it was because I thought she was a witch, so I told her "no I think you're a hag". HAHAHA. Clever. But yesss she said "well hag hasn't finished your costume yet". If she doesn't, I will kill her. Well, not literally. Um, I am really full from dinner, so I threw most of it out. I have to do homework...gay. I have not seen Adam since..sunday? Yes, sunday. Lmfao, unlike Brittney who sees her boyfriend everyday, I don't, which is kind of nice because I won't get sick of him like the last one. Except I didn't talk to him yesterday, but whatever. I think we are going to Vancouver on saturday, and Alison is coming and someone else I think, not sure who yet! I am excited, I'm going to buy a hat and a scarf and a backpack, possibly. I want boots too, and a jacket. Bethany said she can get me a job at Panago, and hey, I do need money, so hurray! It should be okay, since I did work at Boston Pizza before. So let's hope I get one there, then apply at Long and Mcquade finally! I also applied at the new Wired Monk opening, and that WOULD be a better job, because open mic nights would be pretty sweet, and just serving coffee and whatnot.

you should call on me baby, i'm always there for you

Today I hung out with Brittney and Alison. We attempted at writing, but didn't and we ended up talking; we got some chords atleast. Yes, it was quite nice. I really miss writing, I haven't in so long, and since I want to do that, I need to get into it again! I need to start going to bed earlier. I feel like my hair is greasy because I kept touching it today.

another heart has cracked in two

I am so tired! Adam ending up staying the night, and we stayed up till like 5:30 or something. Longest date ever. It was really good, after work, which I got laid off from HAHAHAHA, we went to Long and Mcquade, but I couldn't play anything because I had fake nails. Then we went to dinner at Red Robin, and I got chicken strips and they were delicious. Then we went to Willow Video, and then bused to Starbucks and sat in there, talking about necrophilia because some man came and sat down and told us to not stop talking just because he was there, even more pointing out the fact that he was there. Then we came back here and he played guitar and sang and it was lovely. Then my dad talked to him and my mom, which was embarassing because my dad thought he was so funny, but whatever, he walked into a wall. Then we went to bed and got up at 10:30, went for Tim Horton's and then he went home. It was good. I fell asleep on the couch for an hour, and now I want dinner and to have a shower and do my homework. So yes, no more job for me because he's cutting people because there's too many, but it's like an on-call thing; I'm definitley NOT going back, I was so happy! So boring working there, I won't miss it, I'll just miss the people there though, so thank god for facebook. I need a new job though, I need money.

tell me i'm the only one, tell me there's no other one

I got grad photos today. They actually didn't look that bad; except for the one where my head was resting on my hands.Lmfao that one should die. I got my extentions in, and I looooove long hair now. I made my mom cry today at the photos, because she thought I told her to leave because Jessika was there to watch photos, but I didn't mean that at all. I said she COULD leave if she wants, and that Jessika was there. I felt really bad so I went to the car and she was crying and I apologized and told her what I meant, and hugged her. She cheered up though when I pointed out who my father is, and told me I am too much like him.HAHAHAHAHA. Then she apologized for being so emotional, and we're fine.But jesus christ! Hung out with Jessika and Alison, took some pics, made a video of Hitler and Nana, oh good times. Tomorrow I work , then Adam is coming to my work and we're going to Long & Mcquade, dinner, then my house to play guitar, although I don't think I can because of my nails, unless I rip them off or cut them then try and get them off; these are fake, not real nails by the way. I really want to punch this one person in the face right now..only two people know who..possibly three. I am in good mood though and excited for tomorrow! I hope he shows, lmfao I'm so paranoid though.

please don't stop it's lonley at the top

I got off work early, at like 5! I started at 4, and there were so many people working, so they asked who wanted to go home and I shot my hand up in the air. I am exhausted, so I wanted to come home. Alanna is getting our extentions tomorrow, hurray I'm excited for long hair! My mom friggen annoyed me tonight, asking all these questions, being nosey. I've been happy lately, I don't want it to stop. Today, I was actually half asleep in class, I don't remember what we did and I kept jolting up, so bed early tonight. I'm going to put my nails on; I want to actually go get them done, I have money now but meh.. I play guitar so it's so inconvinient.

I'm a jack of all trades, would you bury me?

School was okay today, that's how it is everyday, nothing EXCITING happens. I have a day off work, but I work tomorrow, then thursday, then saturday. I think Adam is coming on saturday to get me, hurray. I seriously can't work there anymore, it's so boring. I just wander around, make fun of Lois, look at hairdye, bag things, and talk. Sounds easy, but it makes you want to kill yourself.Really. I'm super tired, on friday I got home at 1, went to sleep at 2, got up at 6:30; Alanna phoned me at 2:30. Then yesterday I went with Jessika to her mom's work thingy and did samples of food, it was sweet! Went by so fast , and I got pid 15$ an hour, which is pretty sweet. Some man asked me to do a panther impression because I was on energy drinks and it had a picture of a panther or something on it, so I did and he told his wife I was very into my project.Hahaha, freak. I need to go to bed at 9 , I NEED my sleep. I don't know what to wear tomorrow...Oh, and Carly's bus was so fun. Alanna and I had to go to petro to get her money and some chases, and Kevin, Malia, and Natalie were in there. So embarassing since we were in costume. Alanna was a cop, and I was Betty Boop. I seriously looked like I just popped out of the t.v. or something. It took me like 3 hours to get ready, so needless to say I am NOT being her on halloween again. I want mad hatter costume, because Alanna is going to be Queen of Hearts. I lost my 15$ on her bus, my money to get a taxi home, so I had to phone my mom, but I think she knew she was going to have to come pick me up, so she wasn't mad. Some boy puked, and Lanie puked, it smelled sour lmfao. But all in all it was pretty fun, except my dress was still a little to big so I had to keep pulling it up if I was up, and it was hard to keep running in heels whenever we stopped at a gas station. And we randomly stopped at the side of the road by a field with cows, so I took a picture and only fog came up.lmfao.ew.Soooo many pictures! I'm excited for halloween now, except I'll need to book it off..hopefully I can.Either way, I won't be going in soooo yeah.I want to dress up as ghost, just sheet and cut out eyes , with Alanna then put on good costumes after and go out, except we can't really cut up our sheets. I think wednesday we are going to go get our extentions, then hopefully I'll have them put in before friday, or on friday before my grad photos, and I want to dye my roots because they're coming in so much, except my mom freaked on me and said my hairs really thin. Thanks scottish tips, I know, it's MY hair, not you're puffy hair. I really want to get my natural colour back or just put on top so it'll grow out, and just leave it because I hate that it used to be sooo thick and now it's really really thin, ugh.Except the extentions are black, but I guess I can do it on winterbreak? We'll see.

bam chicka bam chicka boomboomboom

Just got home, I have to get up in like 5 hours hahaha on meeeee. I was looking at pictures from tonight, and I need to go back to my old ways. Like in the summer...hopefully no one understands what I'm talking about. Anywho, bus was fun, more later NIGHT.

it's just a shame that song

Tonight is Carly's party bus. I'm quite excited, except I have work at 8a.m. I'm extremely happy today.