the waitress,the actress, got the skin and the bones

Yesterday I had work at 6 a.m. till 2. I learned some cash and kept screwing up, oh well. It sucked, but I had today off and slept for 12 hours it was fantastic. I had work on friday too. On thursday I went to Long and Mcquade. I want to work there so much I would never quit, seriously. The guy there was changing my guitar strings and started flirting with me , with my mom there, and told me I would fit in because I have this kind of look to me, but he doesn't know what it is, sort of rocker, and like Amy Lee but prettier. Lmfao I just stared and was like oh.. . So he told me he would give me good reference if I apply to him, I was like fuck yes I will apply, so now I am.And he gave me a free pick lmfao. And as for the strings, they sound AMAZING, so much better. They're super ultra light so they don't hurt and I like lighter sounding guitars. I went in after work yesterday to try some basses, but a boy with a giant afro was taking so long so I tried some acoustics and I found one I really want, and it is NOT a Gibson surprisingly. Tonight I'm going for dinner and then movies with Alanna, and possibly Kaylee. We are going to go see Sydney White. I love that it's raining, I love the rain because it makes other people miserable and makes me happy.

the indescribable moments of your life,tonight

Smashing Pumpkins were absoultely fucking amaaaaazing. I have huge bruises on my legs, so worth it. Alison, Kevin, and I were all at the front. The Bravery were really good, and gorgeous I must say, and I got pretty good pictures of them. Like 20min before SP come on, people are rushing to the front and crushing everyone. Some guy and his girlfriend were trying to cut infront of Alison and I, and his elbow was in my back, then he actually grabbed me and tried to shove me out of the way, so I turned and looked at him and said "don't you even fucking dare, or I'll punch you in the face" and he backed off, then his girlfriend started whining and crying so I told her to shutup and deal with it. He was a dick. Then a fat east indian tried to get through people beside me; not good in a small space. So they come on and they were amazing! Alison and I had to get pulled out by security when they played Doomsday Clock, because we were getting so crushed and couldn't frickin' breath. My purse handle broke and I was soooo squished I could barely move, and almost fell over a few times and if I did I would have gotten trampled, so good thing I didn't. Lucky stupid Kevin got to stay at front because he had no purse, so next general admission concert, no purse! So we were at the side now and this guy gets put over the bar, and he's passed out with his pants around his ankles and shirt up and medical and security come over, and says he has no pulse. Even though I didn't know him, I almost started crying because I was like "holy shit what if he's dead?" I thought he was alive because it looked like his eyes were opening and he was doing reflexes kind of. I think he was crowd surfing and got dropped on his head, and the people passing him over the bar were careless as well. So Alison texts me last night, and told me the kid died. I was seriously shocked, because we saw him like, dying in front of us, or he was possibly already dead. That makes me so sad. But anyway, the rest of the concert was amazing, I got some close up pictures of Billy Corgan when we were at the front, sexy. And a lot when we were at the side and back on the floor. We actually weren't that far away so it was really good. We waited 4hours in line and it went by so fast. It started raining so I wrapped Alison's sweater around my head to protect my hair, lmfao, while she got wet. LOVE YOU ALISON THANK YOU! So now I owe her lunch.And in line there was boys that everytime I turned around they were watching us, kind of creepy.One actually stayed turned towards us, then when we went to the gas station, he was facing that way, then turned back when we got back and continued to watch.Not going to lie, I really liked his hoodie, it was blue and brown stripes. I got 3 days off from work because I had to write essay and I was so sore. Today we had the big group grad photo. Pretty sure I'm only half smiling in the pictures. I was in a giant crowd, and I've never felt so alone in my life, and as emo as that sounds, I don't give a fuck. I can't wait to get out of here and start living my life. I'm tired off assholes, and even I can be a bitch too obviously, I just want to surround myself with people that make me happy. Enough sad stuff.This was Smashing Pumpkins set list : Superchrist, Doomsday Clock, Rocket, Drown, Bring the Light, Tonight, Tarantula, Starz, Zero, Glass and the Ghost, To Sheila, 1979(solo acoustic), United States, That's the Way, Hummer, Ava Adore, Bullet with Buttefly Wings, Heavy Metal Machine. Encore: Today. 2ndEncore: Starla.
He also played O' Canada on guitar. All songs were amazing, I taped Tonight, Tarantula, Starz, Zero, 1979, Ava Adore, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Today, and O' Canada, and some of his end speech. He said that he isn't aloud to talk a lot (lmfao abusive) but Canada is better then America because the record was #1 here and #2 there.Hahahahahaaa.And he was going to say something else then someone said play Disarm and he said no then nevermind good bye. Anyway, that concert was amazing, and I had so much fun, and the people I went with just made it better. I'm glad it was only us 3 and not the original plan. It sucked they didn't play Stand Inside Your Love, that is my favourite song by them. I thought they were going to but it was Bullet with Butterfly wings so I was like oh alright. It sucks that kid died though, shows you how crazy people can get because they want to be close to their idols.

we are so real that someone gave us up

Getting tickets tonight I am so excited. Brittney can't come anymore because of some bullshit reason, but whatever I am still going with Alison and some boy. Work went surprisingly fast today, thank god. I don't feel very good I think I am getting cold, joyus. Lmfao I just phoned man and he was deciding whether to sell one ticket or not and I heard him disucssing it with whoever he lives with and he is, so hurray. Ugh shower now I feel disgusting and it will calm me down.

it's a hard life livin' a lie

One more day of work and one more day of the weekend.Smashing Pumpkins monday!!!!fuck yes! My mom and dad are getting my ticket tomorrow while I'm at work, droooool. I got Gibson guitar strings for my guitar because I loooove the way their strings sound, so I tried to put them on and I snapped two.Fucking great.UGH it pissed me off so I'll get the store to do it...I think I'm going to bed soon even though it's 20 to 10, I'm so tired I didn't sleep till 1 then got up at 7. There is one girl at work who pisses me off, I don't get a good feeling from her at all, it's like she doesn't have the time of day for anyone and just stares. Today was loooong I hope tomorrow goes fast I just want monday to come so I can be staring at Billy Corgan.

money,so they say,is the root of all evil today

Just got off work, I'm tiiiired. Now I work all fucking weekend; whatever I get more money then, buy more things! I went for breakfast, well lunch pretty much, with Alanna, Carly, and Alena today at ihop. So good. Now I have bagel and icecap from Timmy Ho's,yummy. Possibly getting Smashing Pumpkin tickets tomorrow, fuck yes! Then monday is concert oh my god I'm so excited. I had a dream I had lime green hair and I was like "well I don't know if I should keep it like this, but I guess once I'm at the front of the concert, Billy Corgan will notice me" Hahaha and I was at their concert. Ew , no lime green hair for me. Ugh I'm tired bed in like half an hour.

is it any wonder i'm tired

Yaaaaay tomorrow off, then work though. I might go to breakfast with Alanna..I really do want crepes, covered with berries and whip cream...mmm. I'm going to talk to my dad tonight about Smashing Pumpkin tickets and HOPEFULLY get them! I hung out with Brittney today and it was good we just talked. She read blog last night and we talked. It was raining today, it made me happy because I love miserable weather, I think because it makes other people hate it. I just really like layering and wearing jeans and boots and jackets and hats! School was alright I have a shit load of homework and work so now my weekends going to be fucking gay. I'm excited for October though. I don't know what to be for halloween, Alanna said Betty Boop and that would be really cute, except I need my hair shorter...right now I was considering getting a bob because I'm going to get extentions around winter break hopefully, so it wouldn't matter if I had shorter hair..but I don't know I want to grow it out and just leave it because I like the style I had it now; I think I just want to do something to my hair since I'm not dying it and I always constantly am changing it. I really want to be a doll for halloween because I like the way I can do my eyes for it so I want a really frilly dress, like lil'bopeep style. I want to be something good this year because it'll probably be the last halloween of dressing up and trick or treating considering graduating and moving; who knows?

is it any wonder i can't breathe all i have is all you gave to me

I'm exausted. I had work for past to days till 10 and normally i go to bed at like 9 because I like my sleep haha but no I end up falling asleep at 11 past two days. Now i have 2 days off thank god but then work all weekend uuuggh. I have homework to which sucks, but whatever. I really hope my dad gets my fucking smashing pumpkin tickets please please please! School was alright today, jazz choir after school. Yes , I am in jazz choir it's actually quite fun. Jessika came because we went to Timmy Ho's after school and Mr.Rutely thought she was singing even though she was clearly doing homework and then told her she could sing something and her face went red lmfao.Fantastic. I was SUPPOSED to hang out with Brittney , but she had ortho.Whatever, it's all good.Jessika and I just talked for like 2hours, I really love doing that it feels good to get everything off my chest. She told me nice story about a girl at our school and what she did..wow you're just really something aren't you?Lmfao oh dear. I found this picture in my photo's and it says "I would have loved you with everything I had, but you didn't want to be loved. Turns out you just wanted to be fucked."I found that fantastic because of stupid boy that hasn't apologized yet because of "pride" and he doesn't wanna see me cry. LMFAO I AM OVER IT I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE LIKE YOU THINK.We had good run, lmfao.kind of.PAID NEXT FRIDAY I think...hopefully..I want money for halloween costume.I really hate when people take my ideas or if I suggest something I want to be then they're like "oh I'll do that because blah blah blah", like okay think of something yourself please.One more day then pro-d day thank goddddd. Atleast I get to sleep in, and relax, then work. I hope my mom gives me money so I can get Tim Horton's before..hmm.I really don't wanna go to school tomorrow I'm so bored of it already and I don't pay attention anymore, I can't wait till I'm done except then it's the real world.Hopefully my plans work out.

there there

Okay well online blog now lmfao. Started school bascially and getting used to it, except I had strep throat for first week which sucked a lot. I'm glad to be back, summer was good , it had it's ups and downs but now it's time to put it in the past and time for a new beginning. I like all of my classes so far and have all of them with Brittney which'll be cool, and thank god for that, seriously or I'd have no one. Well except for in geography, and english. I really want to do my hair right now butttt I'm leaving it till christmas. My mom was being a bitch today, she picked me up from work and we went to pricemart and I found hair magazine that was $10.00 and it had another picture of how I'm doing my hair for grad and she wouldn't buy it because she thought I only wanted it for that one picture.lmfao no I need it for hair always. Then she got mad at me. I ate fish and chips with curry sauce for dinner and it was amazing. Anyways, work. I like it so far and most of the people, but not all of them. Whenever I said something today at lunch people just laughed nervously and stopped talking lmfao. Whatever, money's money. Oh, and since she'll probably read this anyway, Brittney's last blog bothered me because she has to "fit in time for friends but LOVES spending time with Adam." Yeah Brittney I'm really happy for you , but I told you NOT to become one of those people that spends all their time with their boyfriends, and everday in her planner after school is Adam. People don't have to ask you to hang out you can ask them too. Whatever, it's none of my business, but sort of is because I want to start writing with her again..and more pictures..basically just to start hanging out with her again.GUH this is lame.