it's you that i adore, you will always be my whore

It was my mom's birthday yesterday and I got her a ring with her birthstone in it. My mom picked me up at 12:45, even though I said Adam would drive me home though he had work in the morning, and yelled, so I gave her her present lmfao. Last night I went to Adam's and we played guitar hero, I fucking love that game. When I left it was..yeah..not good. BUT I'm sure we'll work it out, hopefully. I mean, we talk about it everytime we're together, and nothing changes...but it makes me feel better and more comfortable, but I don't think he sees that. I'm not sure when I'll see him next, which I don't like, but I know friday I will for sure, because it's my birthday. If I don't, I'll actually cry lmfao. And saturday too. I don't want to go to school tomorrow, and I want it to stop raining and snow more, even though I hate walking home in it. Good news is I don't have work tomorrow because I quit; that was my fourth job lmfao. Please phone tonight.

take a sad song and make it better

I have to leave for work in 30min..uggggh I don't want to goooo! I am so tired right now. Brittney wasn't at school today because she went shopping in the states, so in law I was alone, and I realized how people use one another.Won't get into that now though. Last night Adam took me for dinner at Milestones and it was good. He got his N! Hurrah. I got Timmy Ho's and licked candy canes off the lid and something was wrong with it because it smelled weird and it made my tounge go numb lmfao ew. Yesterday I also went to Vancouver to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" it was pretty good except I fell asleep before first intermission. The bus almost left without Brittney and I, even though we were supposed to be ON the bus, not leave at 1:15, so Brittney said it was only 1:14, and they said they liked to leave early, so I said "lawl, sue the school" and the teachers just stared. I checked my phone which is set to school time and it was only 1:11, sooooo they would have been in shit, so I wish they left us there. Tomorrow I have a pro-d day thank god, so sleep in, and I'm going to some movie thing with Jessika and Alison, and hopefully seeing Adam when he's done work? I will ask if he wants to do something.His Dad is over right now putting crown molding up. Over the past few days I've felt like shit about myself and I've been in such a panicky mood, but last night I felt better about it.

it's times like these you learn to love again

Okay well I have been super busy, hence no blog. I'm getting Foo Fighter tickets in 3 minutes! I'm going with Alison, Adam, Kevin, and Danile or something. YESSSSS! I love going to concerts with Alison it makes me happy<3. So on wednesday it was my one month with Adam, not a big deal but hey it's nice. Long story short, I cried, not because of happy but sad because he ignored me and threw my note on the floor then played his guitar again, but we talked and then he sat on the couch and we looked at eachother and laughed. We're fine, it was made a bigger deal than it should have been. Oh my god 1 minute. Okay lmfao well the general admission were sold out and the other tickets confused the fuck out of me. It said red was lower bowl, but on the chart the red section was the upper bowl, and the blue bowl was the lower bowl instead of upper. Time to craigslist it everyday. I really don't see how they could be sold out when I was on at the exact time they go on sale...and I don't think that they would release ALL the general admission tickets in presale so I don't know. But I will get them one way or another. DEATH!

you're beautiful, beautiful as the sky

I just got home from Adam's, went to the mall that was gay because I couldn't really shop; should have went with Brittney. Then watched him and his sister play drums, then we sat for half an hour. I am tired. I read Brittney's blog, and I'm sure it has to do with me today. I feel bad, but she has done that to me before, saying we are going somewhere then I ask the day we're supposed to do something, then saying we are not. I forgot we were going to go and wanted to anyway, and he asked me to hang out before, sooo yeah. BUT I would like to talk to her, because I feel like I can't anymore and that there's always this awkwardness around and that I get mad, or as she calls it "crazy manic bitch" - listen to some people. And I don't appreciate that much either, but I get where she's coming from, but half the time I don't know I'm doing it; well sometimes. I've actually realized just how horrible a person I am since being with Adam, but yet I don't change it. I admit to it, yet still do nothing. I'd love to punch myself in the face.

they're bound to kill us all, in whitewashed halls

Work was laaaaame, boring because it wasn't really busy. I'm tired. Bed like, now. Except I am talking to Adam, so in a bit. Tomorrow I have to go for fitting at mall for grad fashion show, I could go wednesday with Alanna, but I want to get it over with. Plus, I get my Oasis DVD tomorrow then! FUCK YESSSS! So excited. Then wednesday I'm going to try and get my extensions tightened considering they are falling out, stupid things; one row is just hanging on one side now. And wednesday, hang out with Adam and bring him dinner!

i never met him, i'll never forget him

Good weekend! I worked friday, then went to Adam's and stayed till 1 ish, then saturday he came over white I was cleaning my room and not ready and we went to the mall, Ryan was there hahahahahaha nice look, and I got new Smashing Pumkin c.d. and KT Tunstall c.d. And he got "some" stuff too, and I bought him new HIM c.d. for his belated birthday, even though that was in September, and I saw Christie at her work so I bought a hat, I like it. I really like new SP c.d. a lot. We went for sushi then went back to his house and played Tony Hawk, Mortal Combat, and NHL hahahaha. Then he turned off all his lights and it was completely pitch black because he has no windows in his room, and I was scared because he has a creepy doll in his hallway that I think walks around at night. I saw white at the door, then it disappeared, then kept coming back so I made him turn on lights. I called for a cab at 12 or 12:30 and it came but before I left I told him something so we started talking and the cab left. I decided to stay for a little longer and we ended up having a really, really good talk. I am completely happy. I'm so glad I have someone to really talk to and understands things because something similar has happened, and he doesn't force me to do anything and makes me feel 100% comfortable, and he let's me make my own decisions and doesn't force me to stop anything. So thank you. Then I got home at about 2 I think, slept in, did my some homework and just relaxed. I think we're getting a new computer because this one keeps crashing, gay. Work tomorrow! I actually don't mind it, but still want to work at Long and Mcquade, which I'm pretty sure I should work on cover letter because I keep procrastinating.

'cause you don't want me no more, well babe don't worry

Halloween sucked. Seriously. I getting ready and told my mom I was going to be a few minutes and she was fine; then I finished and she FREAKED out on me. She waited like 10 - 15 min for kids to give out candy, then finally just put some outside with a note. Then we couldn't find Jenna's, so she started yelling so I got out of the car, and they were at the corner. They took pictures and started trick or treating without me, which is fine because I was late, but if it were the other way around for someone THEN it would be different, and we'd have to wait. Anyway, I was in a bad mood thanks to my mom, and told them and Brittney said "well, atleast you look cute", so I told her to shutup, but I didn't mean it in the really mean way it came out. So she's like "fine let's go then" and walked away. I apologized today and explained and she understood, I think. Whatever. Then Adam picked her up and asked if we wanted to go to frightnight and everyone said no and continued trick or treating. ANYTHING I said, everyone ignored. So I yelled things, and they still ignored me, so finally I told them if I disappeared it's not my fault no one notices. Then we went to Jenna's and took some pics, went to Alison R's house, showed her mom their costumes; Alison was Howie Mandell, and Jenna was a brief case girl, it looked so good. Alison now has a bald cap, so we're going to do Billy and Nana pictures. Then we went to Alison V's house; she was Little Red Riding Hood, but called it Ho instead of hood, and Jessika was a construction worker. Oh, and Brittney was a cop, and I was like, white china doll, it looked sweet. Jenna's mom dropped me off at Adam's and he gave me lucky charms, and I watched his sister and him set up their new drum kit. Then I went home at 10. HOW EXCITING. But yeah, good part was seeing him atleast. The man that lives with them, Zeek or Zeke or whatever, asked what the fuck I was and I told him NOT to swear at me and made shooting notions at him and asked what he was, and he said he was himself because that was scary enough, so I agreed with him, then I'm sure he went into his room to jack off. ATLEAST I GOT CANDY AND LUCKY CHARMS? YEAH!

Attention Ryan Bailey :

STOP talking about me, it's just getting old now. I'm desperate huh? I must have been, if I was with you. It's like everytime I get happy, I hear you saying something about me, so shut your fucking mouth; I don't go on about you. You are just too much of a coward to admit that you did wrong. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE, IF YOU'RE WHO YOU'RE WITH ,FINE, BECAUSE I'M WITH WHO I WANT TO BE WITH FINALLY. Jesus christ, you're a child, grow up.

and you can tell, it's just aswell

Today was good, I went to Vancouver with Alison and Adam. We got there at 4, on account that Adam slept in a long time, but atleast that gave me a long time to get ready. When we picked him up, he had the most amazing looking sandwich, but I did not get a bite because he didn't offer. Anyway, I didn't buy a hat or scarf or backpack; I bought food for all of us. We got Timmy Ho's and then went for sushi, then got starbucks. It was sooo cold down there, I should have worn a jacket. We went into the Rock Shop, and I wanted to buy a Mod target belt buckle, but I didn't; I don't know why. Oh well. I want to go on a huge shopping spree down there, I LOVE Vancouver, Alison and I are moving there when we graduate. Tomorrow I'm hanging out with Adam when he's done band practice, that is, if he actually has one hahahaha. Then on monday I start work! Goodbye weekends! Death.

leave me like they left me here, to wither in denial

I didn't go out. Obviously. I am soooo tired. Ugh, I can't wait for you anymore, so I am probably going to bed soon. I want to look GOOD tomorrow.

the bitterness of one who's left alone, oh ho he is burned

Today I found out Ryan has been telling people, a.k.a his girlfriend, that Adam and I slept together on our first date. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Not true at all, faaaar from it. But yes, I always hear things that he's said, and it's so fucking annoying, like seriously, shutup please. Went to mall with Jessika and picked up my cheque, saw some people I miss! I bought two shirts, a jumper, and pants for work, hurrah. Now I'm at home and possibly going out with Alanna to Matt's later, we'll see. I'll probably have to stay the night there which is why I don't want to go because I need to get ready to go to Vancouver tomorrow, and I don't want to be hungover; on the other hand, I don't want to sit on my fat ass all night soooooo...we'll see. I CAN"T stop listening to Smashing Pumpkins; on wednesday it was one month since I saw him; *sigh* oh Billy Corgan.

Edit 10:21 p.m. :

Scratch that, no halloween party tomorrow. Oh welllll. Then I can take my time tomorrow. And it is NOT 10:13, it is 10:21. Stupid thing.

in the streets full of people you know

I got a job! At Panago! Well, Bethany got it for me, THANK YOUUU. It'll be like Boston Pizza all over again. I'm excited to get paid, I start on monday at 4 till ? because at places like that, you're shift can end anytime whether it's busy or not. Tomorrow I pick up my last cheque from Shoppers, so hopefully I'll see some people. I think Jessika and I are going to get candy pizza at Pizza Hut, apparently they really have that? Sweet! I'm in good mood right now. Then I think tomorrow Alanna's boyfriend Brandon MIGHT have halloween party, so I'll go as "china doll" or just geisha girl..aha..the dress looks pretty sweet! Sometimes I might not even wear it as a costume. THANKS MOMMMMMM. Umm..saturday I think Vancouver, with Alison and Adam, hurray! Oh, and by the way, I'll NEVER look at you the same again. Lmfao. Jesus Christ, you're now starting to annoy the hell out of me again, but whatever, atleast you won't be annoying anyone else.

tomorrow's just an excuse away

Bitch. My mom was being one today, and yelled because Brittney and Alena wanted a ride home; seriously, why did you even have me then. So my dad picked me up, and that was fine, and said my mom would be talking to me, which she didn't so good. I told her she could be a witch for halloween because it is "easy to do", and she asked if it was because I thought she was a witch, so I told her "no I think you're a hag". HAHAHA. Clever. But yesss she said "well hag hasn't finished your costume yet". If she doesn't, I will kill her. Well, not literally. Um, I am really full from dinner, so I threw most of it out. I have to do homework...gay. I have not seen Adam since..sunday? Yes, sunday. Lmfao, unlike Brittney who sees her boyfriend everyday, I don't, which is kind of nice because I won't get sick of him like the last one. Except I didn't talk to him yesterday, but whatever. I think we are going to Vancouver on saturday, and Alison is coming and someone else I think, not sure who yet! I am excited, I'm going to buy a hat and a scarf and a backpack, possibly. I want boots too, and a jacket. Bethany said she can get me a job at Panago, and hey, I do need money, so hurray! It should be okay, since I did work at Boston Pizza before. So let's hope I get one there, then apply at Long and Mcquade finally! I also applied at the new Wired Monk opening, and that WOULD be a better job, because open mic nights would be pretty sweet, and just serving coffee and whatnot.

you should call on me baby, i'm always there for you

Today I hung out with Brittney and Alison. We attempted at writing, but didn't and we ended up talking; we got some chords atleast. Yes, it was quite nice. I really miss writing, I haven't in so long, and since I want to do that, I need to get into it again! I need to start going to bed earlier. I feel like my hair is greasy because I kept touching it today.

another heart has cracked in two

I am so tired! Adam ending up staying the night, and we stayed up till like 5:30 or something. Longest date ever. It was really good, after work, which I got laid off from HAHAHAHA, we went to Long and Mcquade, but I couldn't play anything because I had fake nails. Then we went to dinner at Red Robin, and I got chicken strips and they were delicious. Then we went to Willow Video, and then bused to Starbucks and sat in there, talking about necrophilia because some man came and sat down and told us to not stop talking just because he was there, even more pointing out the fact that he was there. Then we came back here and he played guitar and sang and it was lovely. Then my dad talked to him and my mom, which was embarassing because my dad thought he was so funny, but whatever, he walked into a wall. Then we went to bed and got up at 10:30, went for Tim Horton's and then he went home. It was good. I fell asleep on the couch for an hour, and now I want dinner and to have a shower and do my homework. So yes, no more job for me because he's cutting people because there's too many, but it's like an on-call thing; I'm definitley NOT going back, I was so happy! So boring working there, I won't miss it, I'll just miss the people there though, so thank god for facebook. I need a new job though, I need money.

tell me i'm the only one, tell me there's no other one

I got grad photos today. They actually didn't look that bad; except for the one where my head was resting on my hands.Lmfao that one should die. I got my extentions in, and I looooove long hair now. I made my mom cry today at the photos, because she thought I told her to leave because Jessika was there to watch photos, but I didn't mean that at all. I said she COULD leave if she wants, and that Jessika was there. I felt really bad so I went to the car and she was crying and I apologized and told her what I meant, and hugged her. She cheered up though when I pointed out who my father is, and told me I am too much like him.HAHAHAHAHA. Then she apologized for being so emotional, and we're fine.But jesus christ! Hung out with Jessika and Alison, took some pics, made a video of Hitler and Nana, oh good times. Tomorrow I work , then Adam is coming to my work and we're going to Long & Mcquade, dinner, then my house to play guitar, although I don't think I can because of my nails, unless I rip them off or cut them then try and get them off; these are fake, not real nails by the way. I really want to punch this one person in the face right now..only two people know who..possibly three. I am in good mood though and excited for tomorrow! I hope he shows, lmfao I'm so paranoid though.

please don't stop it's lonley at the top

I got off work early, at like 5! I started at 4, and there were so many people working, so they asked who wanted to go home and I shot my hand up in the air. I am exhausted, so I wanted to come home. Alanna is getting our extentions tomorrow, hurray I'm excited for long hair! My mom friggen annoyed me tonight, asking all these questions, being nosey. I've been happy lately, I don't want it to stop. Today, I was actually half asleep in class, I don't remember what we did and I kept jolting up, so bed early tonight. I'm going to put my nails on; I want to actually go get them done, I have money now but meh.. I play guitar so it's so inconvinient.

I'm a jack of all trades, would you bury me?

School was okay today, that's how it is everyday, nothing EXCITING happens. I have a day off work, but I work tomorrow, then thursday, then saturday. I think Adam is coming on saturday to get me, hurray. I seriously can't work there anymore, it's so boring. I just wander around, make fun of Lois, look at hairdye, bag things, and talk. Sounds easy, but it makes you want to kill yourself.Really. I'm super tired, on friday I got home at 1, went to sleep at 2, got up at 6:30; Alanna phoned me at 2:30. Then yesterday I went with Jessika to her mom's work thingy and did samples of food, it was sweet! Went by so fast , and I got pid 15$ an hour, which is pretty sweet. Some man asked me to do a panther impression because I was on energy drinks and it had a picture of a panther or something on it, so I did and he told his wife I was very into my project.Hahaha, freak. I need to go to bed at 9 , I NEED my sleep. I don't know what to wear tomorrow...Oh, and Carly's bus was so fun. Alanna and I had to go to petro to get her money and some chases, and Kevin, Malia, and Natalie were in there. So embarassing since we were in costume. Alanna was a cop, and I was Betty Boop. I seriously looked like I just popped out of the t.v. or something. It took me like 3 hours to get ready, so needless to say I am NOT being her on halloween again. I want mad hatter costume, because Alanna is going to be Queen of Hearts. I lost my 15$ on her bus, my money to get a taxi home, so I had to phone my mom, but I think she knew she was going to have to come pick me up, so she wasn't mad. Some boy puked, and Lanie puked, it smelled sour lmfao. But all in all it was pretty fun, except my dress was still a little to big so I had to keep pulling it up if I was up, and it was hard to keep running in heels whenever we stopped at a gas station. And we randomly stopped at the side of the road by a field with cows, so I took a picture and only fog came up.lmfao.ew.Soooo many pictures! I'm excited for halloween now, except I'll need to book it off..hopefully I can.Either way, I won't be going in soooo yeah.I want to dress up as ghost, just sheet and cut out eyes , with Alanna then put on good costumes after and go out, except we can't really cut up our sheets. I think wednesday we are going to go get our extentions, then hopefully I'll have them put in before friday, or on friday before my grad photos, and I want to dye my roots because they're coming in so much, except my mom freaked on me and said my hairs really thin. Thanks scottish tips, I know, it's MY hair, not you're puffy hair. I really want to get my natural colour back or just put on top so it'll grow out, and just leave it because I hate that it used to be sooo thick and now it's really really thin, ugh.Except the extentions are black, but I guess I can do it on winterbreak? We'll see.

bam chicka bam chicka boomboomboom

Just got home, I have to get up in like 5 hours hahaha on meeeee. I was looking at pictures from tonight, and I need to go back to my old ways. Like in the summer...hopefully no one understands what I'm talking about. Anywho, bus was fun, more later NIGHT.

it's just a shame that song

Tonight is Carly's party bus. I'm quite excited, except I have work at 8a.m. I'm extremely happy today.

the waitress,the actress, got the skin and the bones

Yesterday I had work at 6 a.m. till 2. I learned some cash and kept screwing up, oh well. It sucked, but I had today off and slept for 12 hours it was fantastic. I had work on friday too. On thursday I went to Long and Mcquade. I want to work there so much I would never quit, seriously. The guy there was changing my guitar strings and started flirting with me , with my mom there, and told me I would fit in because I have this kind of look to me, but he doesn't know what it is, sort of rocker, and like Amy Lee but prettier. Lmfao I just stared and was like oh.. . So he told me he would give me good reference if I apply to him, I was like fuck yes I will apply, so now I am.And he gave me a free pick lmfao. And as for the strings, they sound AMAZING, so much better. They're super ultra light so they don't hurt and I like lighter sounding guitars. I went in after work yesterday to try some basses, but a boy with a giant afro was taking so long so I tried some acoustics and I found one I really want, and it is NOT a Gibson surprisingly. Tonight I'm going for dinner and then movies with Alanna, and possibly Kaylee. We are going to go see Sydney White. I love that it's raining, I love the rain because it makes other people miserable and makes me happy.

the indescribable moments of your life,tonight

Smashing Pumpkins were absoultely fucking amaaaaazing. I have huge bruises on my legs, so worth it. Alison, Kevin, and I were all at the front. The Bravery were really good, and gorgeous I must say, and I got pretty good pictures of them. Like 20min before SP come on, people are rushing to the front and crushing everyone. Some guy and his girlfriend were trying to cut infront of Alison and I, and his elbow was in my back, then he actually grabbed me and tried to shove me out of the way, so I turned and looked at him and said "don't you even fucking dare, or I'll punch you in the face" and he backed off, then his girlfriend started whining and crying so I told her to shutup and deal with it. He was a dick. Then a fat east indian tried to get through people beside me; not good in a small space. So they come on and they were amazing! Alison and I had to get pulled out by security when they played Doomsday Clock, because we were getting so crushed and couldn't frickin' breath. My purse handle broke and I was soooo squished I could barely move, and almost fell over a few times and if I did I would have gotten trampled, so good thing I didn't. Lucky stupid Kevin got to stay at front because he had no purse, so next general admission concert, no purse! So we were at the side now and this guy gets put over the bar, and he's passed out with his pants around his ankles and shirt up and medical and security come over, and says he has no pulse. Even though I didn't know him, I almost started crying because I was like "holy shit what if he's dead?" I thought he was alive because it looked like his eyes were opening and he was doing reflexes kind of. I think he was crowd surfing and got dropped on his head, and the people passing him over the bar were careless as well. So Alison texts me last night, and told me the kid died. I was seriously shocked, because we saw him like, dying in front of us, or he was possibly already dead. That makes me so sad. But anyway, the rest of the concert was amazing, I got some close up pictures of Billy Corgan when we were at the front, sexy. And a lot when we were at the side and back on the floor. We actually weren't that far away so it was really good. We waited 4hours in line and it went by so fast. It started raining so I wrapped Alison's sweater around my head to protect my hair, lmfao, while she got wet. LOVE YOU ALISON THANK YOU! So now I owe her lunch.And in line there was boys that everytime I turned around they were watching us, kind of creepy.One actually stayed turned towards us, then when we went to the gas station, he was facing that way, then turned back when we got back and continued to watch.Not going to lie, I really liked his hoodie, it was blue and brown stripes. I got 3 days off from work because I had to write essay and I was so sore. Today we had the big group grad photo. Pretty sure I'm only half smiling in the pictures. I was in a giant crowd, and I've never felt so alone in my life, and as emo as that sounds, I don't give a fuck. I can't wait to get out of here and start living my life. I'm tired off assholes, and even I can be a bitch too obviously, I just want to surround myself with people that make me happy. Enough sad stuff.This was Smashing Pumpkins set list : Superchrist, Doomsday Clock, Rocket, Drown, Bring the Light, Tonight, Tarantula, Starz, Zero, Glass and the Ghost, To Sheila, 1979(solo acoustic), United States, That's the Way, Hummer, Ava Adore, Bullet with Buttefly Wings, Heavy Metal Machine. Encore: Today. 2ndEncore: Starla.
He also played O' Canada on guitar. All songs were amazing, I taped Tonight, Tarantula, Starz, Zero, 1979, Ava Adore, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Today, and O' Canada, and some of his end speech. He said that he isn't aloud to talk a lot (lmfao abusive) but Canada is better then America because the record was #1 here and #2 there.Hahahahahaaa.And he was going to say something else then someone said play Disarm and he said no then nevermind good bye. Anyway, that concert was amazing, and I had so much fun, and the people I went with just made it better. I'm glad it was only us 3 and not the original plan. It sucked they didn't play Stand Inside Your Love, that is my favourite song by them. I thought they were going to but it was Bullet with Butterfly wings so I was like oh alright. It sucks that kid died though, shows you how crazy people can get because they want to be close to their idols.

we are so real that someone gave us up

Getting tickets tonight I am so excited. Brittney can't come anymore because of some bullshit reason, but whatever I am still going with Alison and some boy. Work went surprisingly fast today, thank god. I don't feel very good I think I am getting cold, joyus. Lmfao I just phoned man and he was deciding whether to sell one ticket or not and I heard him disucssing it with whoever he lives with and he is, so hurray. Ugh shower now I feel disgusting and it will calm me down.

it's a hard life livin' a lie

One more day of work and one more day of the weekend.Smashing Pumpkins monday!!!!fuck yes! My mom and dad are getting my ticket tomorrow while I'm at work, droooool. I got Gibson guitar strings for my guitar because I loooove the way their strings sound, so I tried to put them on and I snapped two.Fucking great.UGH it pissed me off so I'll get the store to do it...I think I'm going to bed soon even though it's 20 to 10, I'm so tired I didn't sleep till 1 then got up at 7. There is one girl at work who pisses me off, I don't get a good feeling from her at all, it's like she doesn't have the time of day for anyone and just stares. Today was loooong I hope tomorrow goes fast I just want monday to come so I can be staring at Billy Corgan.

money,so they say,is the root of all evil today

Just got off work, I'm tiiiired. Now I work all fucking weekend; whatever I get more money then, buy more things! I went for breakfast, well lunch pretty much, with Alanna, Carly, and Alena today at ihop. So good. Now I have bagel and icecap from Timmy Ho's,yummy. Possibly getting Smashing Pumpkin tickets tomorrow, fuck yes! Then monday is concert oh my god I'm so excited. I had a dream I had lime green hair and I was like "well I don't know if I should keep it like this, but I guess once I'm at the front of the concert, Billy Corgan will notice me" Hahaha and I was at their concert. Ew , no lime green hair for me. Ugh I'm tired bed in like half an hour.

is it any wonder i'm tired

Yaaaaay tomorrow off, then work though. I might go to breakfast with Alanna..I really do want crepes, covered with berries and whip cream...mmm. I'm going to talk to my dad tonight about Smashing Pumpkin tickets and HOPEFULLY get them! I hung out with Brittney today and it was good we just talked. She read blog last night and we talked. It was raining today, it made me happy because I love miserable weather, I think because it makes other people hate it. I just really like layering and wearing jeans and boots and jackets and hats! School was alright I have a shit load of homework and work so now my weekends going to be fucking gay. I'm excited for October though. I don't know what to be for halloween, Alanna said Betty Boop and that would be really cute, except I need my hair shorter...right now I was considering getting a bob because I'm going to get extentions around winter break hopefully, so it wouldn't matter if I had shorter hair..but I don't know I want to grow it out and just leave it because I like the style I had it now; I think I just want to do something to my hair since I'm not dying it and I always constantly am changing it. I really want to be a doll for halloween because I like the way I can do my eyes for it so I want a really frilly dress, like lil'bopeep style. I want to be something good this year because it'll probably be the last halloween of dressing up and trick or treating considering graduating and moving; who knows?

is it any wonder i can't breathe all i have is all you gave to me

I'm exausted. I had work for past to days till 10 and normally i go to bed at like 9 because I like my sleep haha but no I end up falling asleep at 11 past two days. Now i have 2 days off thank god but then work all weekend uuuggh. I have homework to which sucks, but whatever. I really hope my dad gets my fucking smashing pumpkin tickets please please please! School was alright today, jazz choir after school. Yes , I am in jazz choir it's actually quite fun. Jessika came because we went to Timmy Ho's after school and Mr.Rutely thought she was singing even though she was clearly doing homework and then told her she could sing something and her face went red lmfao.Fantastic. I was SUPPOSED to hang out with Brittney , but she had ortho.Whatever, it's all good.Jessika and I just talked for like 2hours, I really love doing that it feels good to get everything off my chest. She told me nice story about a girl at our school and what she did..wow you're just really something aren't you?Lmfao oh dear. I found this picture in my photo's and it says "I would have loved you with everything I had, but you didn't want to be loved. Turns out you just wanted to be fucked."I found that fantastic because of stupid boy that hasn't apologized yet because of "pride" and he doesn't wanna see me cry. LMFAO I AM OVER IT I DON'T LIKE YOU ANYMORE LIKE YOU THINK.We had good run, lmfao.kind of.PAID NEXT FRIDAY I think...hopefully..I want money for halloween costume.I really hate when people take my ideas or if I suggest something I want to be then they're like "oh I'll do that because blah blah blah", like okay think of something yourself please.One more day then pro-d day thank goddddd. Atleast I get to sleep in, and relax, then work. I hope my mom gives me money so I can get Tim Horton's before..hmm.I really don't wanna go to school tomorrow I'm so bored of it already and I don't pay attention anymore, I can't wait till I'm done except then it's the real world.Hopefully my plans work out.

there there

Okay well online blog now lmfao. Started school bascially and getting used to it, except I had strep throat for first week which sucked a lot. I'm glad to be back, summer was good , it had it's ups and downs but now it's time to put it in the past and time for a new beginning. I like all of my classes so far and have all of them with Brittney which'll be cool, and thank god for that, seriously or I'd have no one. Well except for in geography, and english. I really want to do my hair right now butttt I'm leaving it till christmas. My mom was being a bitch today, she picked me up from work and we went to pricemart and I found hair magazine that was $10.00 and it had another picture of how I'm doing my hair for grad and she wouldn't buy it because she thought I only wanted it for that one picture.lmfao no I need it for hair always. Then she got mad at me. I ate fish and chips with curry sauce for dinner and it was amazing. Anyways, work. I like it so far and most of the people, but not all of them. Whenever I said something today at lunch people just laughed nervously and stopped talking lmfao. Whatever, money's money. Oh, and since she'll probably read this anyway, Brittney's last blog bothered me because she has to "fit in time for friends but LOVES spending time with Adam." Yeah Brittney I'm really happy for you , but I told you NOT to become one of those people that spends all their time with their boyfriends, and everday in her planner after school is Adam. People don't have to ask you to hang out you can ask them too. Whatever, it's none of my business, but sort of is because I want to start writing with her again..and more pictures..basically just to start hanging out with her again.GUH this is lame.